Build the relationship, always be the focus of attention and time because it is a potential that it can bring individuals to happiness, though it can also be a painful thing.
The relationship became even more complex when they start involving love and trust in a partner. Romantic relationships can be either ' intimate relationships ', a term widely and erratically, which can include a variety of different associations between friends, couples, families and relatives of the family (Gillies, 2003).
This intimate relationships and interactions affect the adaptation in a changing needs and pressures involved at each stage of development in one's life. According to Erikson (in Papalia, 2007), developing an intimate relationship is an important developmental task for young adults. The need to create a strong, stable relationship, close, and the matter became a very powerful motivator for the behavior of individuals.
In fostering an intimate relationship, the individual need to have an understanding of self, ability to express emotions, ability to commit, and decision making in sexuality. These things are very important for young adults in deciding whether they will marry or form homosexual relationships. Forms of expression in intimate relationships may include friendship, love, and sexuality. Love is an expression of human emotion is most excellent and most desired.
According to Sternberg (1987), love consists of three main components, intimacy, passion, and commitment that all three are related to each other. Intimacy refers to the feeling of closeness and tied with couples; passion is the encouragement of physical attraction, romance, and sexual abuse; and the commitment occurs when individuals begin to decide (short-term aspects) and sustain (an aspect of the long term) of the love he had. Loving someone owned depends on the degree or the proportion of these three components (Sternberg, 1988).
The difference in the levels of this love can be explained through a combination of these three components, for example the love romantic intimacy and passion component contains a lot more than a component of the commitment. In addition, a relationship that is based only on one component only more difficult to endure than based on two or three components at once.
The difference in levels of love can also be due to the difference in age and gender. Women are usually more intimate to the friend of the couple, compared to where they are more difficult to express emotion and intimacy in communication with their partner. But instead of the man who more easily express the emotional intimacy with a partner than with the companions (Sternberg, 1987). Women and men also have sexual needs and desires are different, where men have a greater proportion to their sexual needs (in Papalia, 2007).
In addition, men tend to be more premature in terms of sexual desire, where she has appeared in the initial phase of young adults; whereas women tend to give priority to the immediacy of emotion and communication. With regard to love, Kienlen (2007) mentions three phases in romance, that romantic feeling (flavor of love), physical attraction, and attachment to emotions.
First of all, the feeling of love appears on the individual because of the proximity to the opposite sex. Furthermore, individual minds are met by loved ones and start making it an ideal partner. Physical attraction phase is often said to be false "lovesick" or smitten. Then the relationship continued to attachment to emotions, which involves commitment, friendship, or even a child. In this last stage, the individual positive or negative character knowing of the pair, and decide whether you want to build a life together.
The third stage is not separate but rather a fusion of all three in a long-term romantic relationship, one of which is the bond of marriage with a commitment to share (Stutzer & Frey, 2006). Romantic relationships based on love can arise from a wide variety of ways, for example, two individuals mutually attracted to each other and decided to build a romantic relationship. In addition, a romantic relationship may also arise from a friendship, then develops into a relationship romance. (Guerrero & Mongeau, 2008). However, it is not easy for individuals to be able to maintain a romantic relationship that is owned in a long period of time. Based on Sternberg (1987), to maintain a relationship can be made through triangular theory.
First, keep your emotions so well developed intimacy.
Second, analyze fulfillment and sexual passion in a relationship. The components of the poison can be different between individuals with her partner and sometimes it is hard to be controlled, so that couples need to understand their respective needs and try to meet those needs.
Third, understanding the importance of relationships and enjoying a relationship with happiness. In doing this, the third point is needed for components of intimacy and passion, and especially expressions of commitment of a long-term romantic relationship.
With regard to maintaining long-term romantic relationships, it is important for individuals to be able to express emotions, commitment, and the decision in sexuality. This refers to the ability of the individual in doing assignments, planning, and decision-making about a romantic relationship that is being carried, as it is important for the sexual behavior of young adults (McCabe & Barnett, 2000). The setting, planning, and decision making in life a person closely related to the orientation of the future (Sanger et al., in Seniger, 1992).
Cross-cultural research on the orientation of the future often compares domain orientation of the future in teenagers and young adults, teens are more focused on their feelings and thoughts about the future of education and career achievement, while intimacy is more focused on young adults (McCabe & Barnett, 2000). In line with that, Salmela-Aro, Aunola, and Nurmi (Nurmi, 2005) conducted a study of longitudinal against college students in the period of 10 years.
They found that after the second and third years of lectures, education was deemed less important; In contrast, career, family, and children become more specialized purposes. Thus, the themes related to the future of the future, especially in romantic relationships, it becomes more important things for young adults. Future orientation of the term was first introduced by Lewin (Öner, 2000a; Öner, 2000b; Nurmi, 2005; Seniger, 2009), which refers to all the interests of someone in the future. Future orientation is defined as thinking and planning about the future (inside the Malmberg & Norrgard Dorham, 2005); and as the capacity to manage and anticipate future events (Gjesme, in Öner, 2000a; Kalkan, 2008).
Further, the Gjesme (in Kalkan, 2008) distinguishes between the orientation of the future in the context of the General, with the orientation of the future in more specific contexts. The orientation of the future in a more general context associated with estimates and anticipation of individuals in General, i.e., for example, that he would be working in the future; While the orientation of the future in a more specific context associated with the estimates and anticipation of individuals at certain things, for example, individuals who are interested in a particular job only. In line with the thinking Gjesme, Öner (2000a) suggests that future orientations in romantic relationships differ from the orientation of the future in General. The orientation of the future on a romantic relationship is the tendency to seek temporary or permanent relations with the opposite sex.
Referring to Öner (2000b), individuals with a level of high future orientation is expected to seek a relatively permanent relationship; instead of the individual to the level of orientation of the future more low can enjoy temporary relationships.
In his research, Öner found several factors that influence the orientation of the future on romantic relationships, i.e., attention to the commitment to the future, investing in the future, involvement in the future (Öner, 2000a), the search for a permanent relationship, as well as a focus on relationships in the future (Öner, 2000b). In addition, gender, satisfaction in the relationship, as well as some individual characteristics, such as jealousy, and self-monitoring, also seems to affect the orientation of the future (Öner, 2000b), although only on a certain boundary (Kalkan, 2008).
Based on the research of Öner (2000a), individuals with a preference for long-term commitment will find a relatively permanent relationship (future-oriented), and have an attitude that is more cautious in initiating and fostering a romantic relationship. This cautious attitude can affect an individual's response to our satisfaction relationship. However, the individual will also need to pay attention to the components of intimacy and passion, as well as the length of a romantic relationship that he lives. According to Berscheid (Sternberg, 1986), at the beginning of a romantic relationship, uncertainty in the relationship to make individuals not able to predict behavior and emotional condition of the spouse. This inability can make individuals feel uncomfortable with the relationship. Furthermore, when in a romantic relationship of individuals don't get passionate needs properly, it can also be not satisfied; that can lead to the termination of a relationship (Sternberg, 1986).
This means that satisfaction in the relationship can also involve high or low degree of each component of love. In addition to the engagement component of love, relationship satisfaction in individuals also can be caused by weather or not there is a romantic touch experience. According to Öner (2000b), the discontent relationship with individuals with beorientasi the future can also be caused by the lack of a romantic relationship to the individual experience. Individuals who are currently not in a relationship, certainly not feeling romantic expression of intimacy, passion, and commitment as perceived by the individual who is the romantic relationship.
The lack of experience of the individual against the expression of the components of this love can affect the orientation of the future on the romantic relationships of the individual, particularly on the subject of young adults in connection with the task of development. Furthermore, young adults are more likely to determine continuation of the dating relationship romance that they undertake. They have a better position in the discuss loss and benefit in the relationship, romance (Manning et al., 2007). It is with regard to the orientation of the future of a romantic relationship.
In his book, Reeder (2008) concluded that knowledge of the goals and objectives in a romantic relationship can help individuals to understand human interaction better. In line with the developing understanding of the potential mate, someone will live in the future, understanding concerning goals and objectives will help in forecasting and regulating the interaction of individuals with their partner (Dennet, Reeder at 2008). The consequences are obtained when an understanding of the prospective spouse is not developed will have an impact on the relationships that clunky, hurt, or aggressive feud (Abbey, Reeder at 2008).
At the conclusion, love is one of the aspects that are important in determining the sustainability of romantic relationships carried by individuals. Research on aspects of love in romantic relationships can help the individual understanding of the orientation of its future on a romantic relationship.
Based on the foregoing, it is an important thing for individuals, especially young adults, to know the level of love that he has to be able to determine whether he will be in a relationship long term or short term with his partner.
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